i love the lord

"god of silence" album launch
november 19, 2005



yes, that's me with short hair.

thank God for "friends"

whenever i need cheering up, i stick a dvd into the player and i'm guaranteed some laughs. it doesn't matter how many times i've watched the entire series and i know the jokes by heart. it's just a really show and the jokes never get old.

ok, REAL friends are important, too, and i thank God i have great ones that i can turn to when i need them, but i can't bother them everytime i have a problem. sometimes there are just things that people need to deal with on their own.

the winner takes it all

watched "mamma mia" today and realized how beautiful this song is. meryll streep succeeded in expressing the underlying emotions which made the song all the more powerful.

****************

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

blast from the past

i was going through some boxed that were stored in my closet and found some items - pictures, letters, cards - from 6 years ago. for a good 2 minutes, all i could do was stare at all of these things and wonder why they were still around.

after getting over the initial shock, i started throwing things out. all the photos (except those that didn't include him... and those that did include him but where he could easily be cropped out), cards and letters ended up in the trash.

while i was sorting through the photos, i couldn't help noticing how happy i looked. funny how i can't remember the feelings though.

finished na 'ko!!!

i've finished my last full day at work... i'm free!

now i just need to re-pack my suitcase so make sure i'm bringing home only the stuff i'll be using.

i was listening to bp songs...

knowing that i would find the inspiration/grace/strength i need right now. and once again, the music didn't fail me...

first i listened to my standby strength song, "o hesus hilumin mo" and almost immediately, i felt calmer. the other songs - or lines of songs - that struck me were:

"and when i've done all that i could, yet there are hearts i cannot move. lord, give me hope that i may be your heart today."

"sa kapwa mo muling mabibigo. kapayapaan ko lamang ang sasagip sa iyo. pagsapit ng gabing kulimlim naririto ako. papawiin ko ang lumbay mo. kukumutan ka ng saya..."

i cannot believe how much i miss singing with bukas palad. i can't wait to sing with you guys again!

i'm going home...

tomorrow is my last day at work. my suitcase is mostly packed and i'm (very) ready to go. who would've thought my last week on board would be the most difficult?

but i'm counting my blessings... i'm leaving on the 11th and all that happened on board will be left behind... i'll be with friends and family again... i get to sleep on my own bed... friends and family will be visiting from abroad and i'll get to meet up with them... i get to eat all the food i've missed these past 10 months... i get a long vacation... i have the option of turning my back on ship-life for good... i can look forward to meeting new people again... i get to sing with bukas palad again...

there are so many things to look forward to in the next couple of days... i can't wait!

the countdown begins

i'm officially on my last cruise for this contract. by this time next week, i'll be in a plane headed for home.

nick tag

tagged by icar...

patricia - my actual name and the one i give to people i've just met
pia - my official nickname
piatos - bukas palad
piasan - norman
pat - some people from work
ate pat - kuya voltaire
p - old friends who are lazy to utter my nickname
pia-pie - tina
patrice - some of the indonesians i work with
trician - tito jas arboleda
pachuchay - my childhood nickname, which my mom uses when she wants to embarrass me
yatot - another childhood nickname used by my brothers and sister
doktora - one of the kitchen guys
mare - the other indonesians onboard who doesn't know my name

on love

"love is a very powerful force in my life. it's my fatal flaw and my virtue."

- nicole kidman, vogue july issue