Changes

The days are shorter and the nights are colder. Summer's over. Fall is just around the corner. Soon people will be wearing jackets, blazers, sweaters, coats, whatever they need to keep themselves warm. They'll be storing their flip flops and shaking the dust off their boots.

School's started. Marco and Noah are gone for half a day this entire week. Next week they'll be gone the whole day. They look so different in their school uniforms. Like young men instead of little boys. It's like they grew up right before my eyes.

Karen gave birth today. Her water broke early this morning and was in the hospital for over 12 hours before she started the normal birthing process. After a couple of hours they had to perform a C-section on her. We now have a brand new baby in our family. Baby boy Javier (they still haven't told us what name they've chosen for him).

Time flies by.

Life goes on.

Life Support

Forget regret or life is yours to miss.
No other road. No other way
No day but today.

***
From "Rent". I never believed in regretting things that happened in your past. It sounds so cliche, but your past (decisions, experiences... insert your own word here) does mold you into the person you are today.

Would I have done things differently? Sure. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have done a lot of things differently. But I can't go back and do things differently. All I have is my future to look forward to.

Comfortable

This song by John Mayer always gets me choked up every time I listen to it. It's just so simple and honest... and sad.

***
I still remember the time at the market
Sneaked up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rolled down aisle five
You looked behind you to stare back at me
Crashed into a rack full of magazines
They asked us if we could leave

Can't remember what went wrong last September
But I'm sure you'll remind me if you had to

Our love was comfortable
And so broken in

I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
My friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
They throw me high fives
She says the Bible is all that she reads
Prefers that I not use profanity
Your mouth was so dirty

Life of the party, and she swears that she's artsy
But you could distingush Miles from Coltraine

Our love was comfortable
And so broken in
She's perfect. So flawless
Or so they say...

She thinks that I can't see the smile that she's faking
Or poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
Grey sweatpants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was comfortable and
So broken in
She's perfect. So flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back

Towerblock

Towerblock is my theme song. I don't remember when I first heard it, but when I did, I knew immediately that it was my song. It captured perfectly how I felt about myself and my past relationships. And the music. The simple melody from the piano gave it the perfect feeling of melancholy.

***
You make me feel vulnerable and totally exposed
You make me feel like a teenager dressed in a woman's clothes
And I ask you, and I ask you
Where do we go from here?

All my life
I've been the one who's big and strong for everyone
Then you come along
A towerblock for me to lean on
And I ask you
Where do we go from here

You've got me so I'm curling like a kitten in your hand
You've got me so I'm clawing like a tiger caged and bound
And I ask you, and I ask you
Where do we go from here?

All my life
I've been the one who's big and strong for everyone
Then you come along
A towerblock for me to lean on
And I ask you
Where do we go from here

All my life
I've been the one who's always there for everyone
And now I now you let me down
Will it always be
That I'm the only towerblock for me?

Do I Look Like Them?

I've been trying make my own collage since I saw this on Lionel's page. Ngayon lang ako naging successful... nung iniba ko yung layout.



Since I got it working, lulubusin ko na. Here's another one:



Interesting results. Parang walang umulit.

What do you think?

Loneliness & Friends

Today was a particularly difficult day. Maybe it's PMS, I don't know. All I know is that I couldn't go into the city as I'd planned.

It's going to be a long night.

Visiting Borders

"We should consider everyday lost in which we have not danced at least once."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Lyrics Phase

My blog postings sometimes have phases. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I posted a number of surveys online. I also believe that there are a few online test results that made their way into fresh strawberries.

For the next couple of weeks, be prepared for song lyrics because I will be posting the lyrics of my favorite songs. I'll also be including a short explanation of why those songs became my faves.

Consider this a heads up.

Snickers TV Ad

So funny. Carlo, I think you'll enjoy this.

My Inner Mutant

Got this from Erwin's Multiply blog:

You scored as Jean Grey. Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havok. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Got this from Carlo's blog. I guess magkapatid talaga kme... hehehe.

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement. You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you. By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power. And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Peace

"It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

- Unknown

Love According to SATC

"Some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." - Carrie Bradshaw

On Love

A heart truly in love never loses hope.

Dreams & Friendship

"Some dreams may be elusive, some beyond our realm, some better forgotten, others to pursue like the end of a rainbow."

Received this on YM from Tita Donna, my mom's oldest and dearest friend. My belief is that they were sisters - maybe even twins - in a past life.

They passed on their closeness to their children, the girls in particular. It got so that Dia, Dondet and I would introduce each other as cousins even though we're not related in any way. We're each other's oldest friends.

It's great to have friends like them who know everything about you and love you anyway. And they're not afraid to give you tough love if they know it's what's best for you. These are the friends you dream of having.

And when you do, you cherish them forever.

Walking In the Rain

Went walking in the rain today.

Not in the romantic sense, mind you. Before you start thinking that I've found someone new, I haven't. Yet. In first place, I'm not even looking. Well, I am looking, but not for a boyfriend. I'm looking for a new job. But that isn't even the point of this entry. So let me start again...

Thrina and I went walking today. At first, we thought we wouldn't be able to since it was drizzling outside. But once it stopped, we went ahead and left the kids at home with yaya Josie and Joey.

Our route was simple: Straight down Outpost Court, then left on Picket Oaks Road, then left again on Store House Road. We continue on Store House and turn right on St. Germaine, then take another right on Field Encampment. A slight change for today's walk: Instead of going all the way to Centrewood before heading back home, we would take the shortcut and pass by Karen and Carlo's house (which is Thrina and Joey's old townhouse). That's it. Plain and simple. One long walk around the neighborhood.

Anyway, we were enjoying our brisk walking, telling each other about our day (she accompanied the kids and their cousins places, and Karen and I went shopping for office clothes - because I got a call from the portugal embassy. Woohoo! Dumadami ang prospects! Sana may kumagat!), when we felt little drops of water on our arms and eyelashes. We continued our walk since we were already on Field Encampment Road. Ambon lang naman eh. Malakas din naman yung araw. Kung lumakas man yung ulan, pwede kmeng magpasundo sa bahay nina Karen.

Well, we didn't even get close to Karen and Carlo's house. The rain just started pouring and we were forced to wait under a tree along the road. Thrina called Joey, who'd already left the house to come get us (Ang sweet! Hahaha).

The kicker is this: When Joey arrived, the moment we got inside the car, the rain stopped.

Quiz

What kind of kiss are you?

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla

New Crush

Watched "Step Up" with my nephews and cousin today. It's "Fame" meets "Dirty Dancing" with an oh-so-hot leading man in Tyler Gage (played by model/actor Channing Tatum). I really wasn't looking forward to seeing it, but my nephews wanted me to come with, so I had no choice.

I actually found it quite enjoyable. The reason, in part, is that I didn't have any expections coming into the theater. Another reason is, well, Channing Tatum. He's just so HOT!!! The perfect blend of rugged good looks (down to the scar under his right eye), hot body, talent, and charisma. Plus, the way he stares can really make you weak in the knees. And those lips... Oh. My. Goodness. I couldn't stop staring at them. (Jowi, I have a feeling you're gonna agree with me here. :))

Thank you, Marco and Noah, for insisting that I come along with you to watch the movie. I owe you one, kids.

...

Just got back from a night of drinking and videoke. Fun, fun, fun.

Have to go to bed now. I'll be submitting my application to one of the embassies tomorrow. I hope I get the job!

Pray for me!

Nature Boy

I was cleaning my bathroom earlier and this song popped into my head. Don't ask me why. I'm as weirded out as you (probably) are.

But it does have beautiful lyrics. Simple and moving. Originally sung by the late, great Nat King Cole, it was revived by David Bowie for the movie "Moulin Rouge".

***
There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They said he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
One magic day he passed my way
And while he spoke of many this, fools and kings
This he said to me
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return

Survey IV - Every day is a brand new day to fall in love

Who are you thinking of right now?
Secret!!! Hahaha!

Who do you run to when you're down?
My friends. And I pray, too.

Who are the most influential people in your life right now?
Just one. My mom.

Who was the last person you went out with?
Naku, tagal na 'kong di nagde-date. The last one would be my ex.

Who will you call/text later?
Tita Francia. I need to ask her something.

What completes your day?
My daily fix of Friends and SATC on the WB

Who do you want to talk to right now?
Joy

When will you take a bath?
Already did

When will you watch a movie?
Good question. Hopefully this weekend.

When was the last time you fell in love?
Four years ago

When was the last time you went out with your friends?
Manila friends? Two months ago. Centreville friends? Last night.

When was the last time you said "I love you"?
Last night

When was the last time you read a book?
Yesterday

When was the last time you asked for help?
This afternoon

Are you easily attracted to the opposite sex?
It depends

Do you get jealous easily?
Not really. And when I do, I usually try to control it, especially if it's inappropriate

Survey III

Q : What is your status?
A : Single and looking... hehehe

Q : What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
A : Sending out me resume

Q : What are your fave sports?
A : To watch? Basketball.

Q : Do you cry most of the time you have problems?
A : It depends

Q : Did you have a fight with someone today?
A : Nope

Q : What are your fave subjects?
A : Used to love my Comm classes

Q : Who cheers you up the most in your life?
A : Family and (old) friends

Q : Do you like to chat?
A : Yup

Q : Last chat?
A : Last night with a friend in Cleveland

Q : Do you like to laugh?
A : Oh yeah.

Q : Last testimonial from? What about?
A : GJ Herman. Eh di about me.

Q : Last message from? What about?
A : Aids. A job prospect

Q : Last food?
A : Breakfast. Longsilog

Q : Do you have an exam?
A : Nope

Q : Do you think people who like to study a lot are nerds?
A : Nope. Weird maybe, but definitely not nerds

Q : What's your opinion about long distance relationships?
A : Hahahaha! I wouldn't recommend it, but it could work if both parties are committed to the relationship.

Q : About love at the first sight?
A : Crush at first sight pwede pa.

Q : Did you ever love someone but he/she didn't like you?
A : I don't think so. But I have loved someone who didn't love me back (in the same way)

Q : Did you ever dump sumone?
A : Yes

Q : Have you ever had a relationship with someone you didn't love?
A : Nope

Q : Have you ever hurt sumone who loved you so much?
A : Yes

Q : Do you like your school?
A : Yeah. My high school especially.

Q : Do you have a new bestfriend?
A : Nope

Q : Do you have something you must do right now?
A : Yes. Find a job.

Filipino Men

Got this from Happy's blog:

"Filipino men are insecure. They womanize incorrigibly to prove their vitality (and their moral weakness). They are contentious, prone to display, pretentious and arrogant only to prove that they are better over another man. In short, they are posers. They will cut, duck and weave through traffic to prove that they are faster and more wily. They will buy the biggest cars, the biggest guns and hire the biggest goons."

It's actually the first part of his essay about what's ailing the Philippines. I just find it interesting that he used the term "men" like he's convinced that it's their fault that the country's the way it is.

But, hey, I'm not arguing.

Horoscope

"Memories, when held on to too literally or wistfully, can also be paralyzing forces in your life. Don't let the rosy haze of nostalgia lead you to believe something that isn't true."

Part of today's Aries horoscope.

I should take this advice.

Cartoon

My nephews, Marco & Noah, really enjoy this one. I had to post it.

Dadalhin

A moving rendition of the song by Regine Velasquez. I also appreciate it a lot more now since I know where these emotions are coming from. Nakaka-relate baga ako.

It also reminds me of when she performed "Say That You Love Me" on one of those old lunch shows (Lunch Date?) on GMA-7. Or was is ABS-CBN? Basta si Randy Santiago ang isa sa mga host.

Anyway, you could really feel the emotions permeating through the television.

Mahusay talaga si Regine. Di mapagkakaila.

Learning from the past II

I wanna write this down before I forget it.

I would rather have someone tell me the "wrong things" and be pleasantly surprised by the "right actions" than have him say all the right things and be disappointed because he wasn't able to live up to them.

If you're going to make big promises, make sure you'll be able to back them up with actions. Otherwise, just keep them to yourself. Although we were told to never have expectations in our relationships, sometimes you can't help but. So you have to be careful what you say.

Survey II

This one's from Jowi :)

1. Last person who wrote you a testimonial?
GJ Herman

2. Last movie you watched
Barnyard (will be posting my review on it soon)

3. What do people first notice when they see you?
Dunno

4. Do you like peanut-butter?
Not so much

5. Most memorable place?
Marami... New York, Milpitas, Israel, Jordan, Sonolux, Virginia, Baguio, Anilao

6. Do you read comics?
I used to. I don't anymore.

7. What's your favourite restaurant?
Marami din 'to... Recipes, O Kitchen, Cibo, Joe's Shanghai, Saigon Grill

8. Do you have enemies?
I don't have enemies. There are people that I don't like, and one in particular that I don't really care for. Does that count?

9. You like to go out grocery shopping?
I love grocery shopping. I usually have a list, but I still end up with a number of impulse purchases.

10. Can you dance?
I guess.

11. Do you believe in God?
Yup

12. First thing to do when you wake up tomorrow?
Eat breakfast

13. Where are you right now?
Thrina's basement

14. Your name spelled backwards
sotnas reivaj enna aicirtap

15. Where were you born?
St. Luke's

16. What is the last thing you downloaded?
New episodes of podcasts

18. Are you registered to vote?
Yup

19. Do you have a car?
In Manila.

20. Do you like rollercoasters?
I can live without them

21. Chattin with…?
Not logged on right now

22. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Hmmm... probably sky diving (sabay tayo, jo :))

23. Are you shy?
Depends on the situation. But I'm more shy than not.

24. Do you think you're popular?
Nope

25. Chips or popcorn?
Hmmm... more chips. Lalo na Cheetos Puffs. But I agree that Holy Kettle Corn is really good

26. Are you a good cook?
Good enough I guess

27. Best thing in the world?
Loving and being loved

28. Have you ever broken a bone?
Nope

29. Have you ever won a trophy?
Nope

30. What is your favorite board game?
No favorite

31. Do you bake cakes?
Nope. Cookies

32. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Debit card

33. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope

34. Whats your favorite song right now?
Ridin by Chamillionaire. The beat is so darn catchy. I especially like it because it always reminds me of when Noah was singing along to it in the car

35. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Hmmm... At least 30. I think

36. Last song stuck in your head?
Ridin by Chamillionaire. The beat is so darn catchy. I especially like it because it always reminds me of when Noah was singing along to it in the car

37. Any pets?
Yup. 3 dogs

38. Worst Local TV show as of the moment?
Local? Since I'm in the US, the worst local TV show would have to be the Jerry Springer/Maury Povich type shows. A close second would be those people's court shows

39. Color of most clothes you own
Browns, greens, pinks, reds, oranges

40. Whose picture(s) do you carry in your wallet?
Mine

Forgotten Dream

I've been keeping a dream journal. Every time I have a dream, I document it on a little notebook that I keep next to me when I sleep. I read somewhere that it helps enhance creativity. I just like keeping tabs on what I've been dreaming about, and hopefully I'll figure out what my dreams are trying to tell me.

Last night I dreamt about something, but I couldn't remember it when I woke up. Bummer. All I remember is that it was a really good dream. I hope I have it again tonight.

Phenomenon

Watched the movie starring John Travolta and Kyra Sedgwick on HBO.

For those who haven't seen it, the story's about a regular man, played by John Travolta, who acquires incredible mental prowess after being struck down by some kind of light from the sky.

All of a sudden he's learning a new language in 20 minutes, he's making objects move with his mind, and he's solving complicated math problems in a snap. Oh, and he also predicts an earthquake.

Everyone he knows is either in awe or afraid of his gifts. The only person who treats him the same is the woman he loves, played by Kyra Sedgwick. One scene even reminds me of many a Bible story, where a crowd gathers around Jesus, asking him to perform miracles.

Well, as the movie progresses, we find out that the light was actually just a symptom of a medical condition that caused him to use a bigger percentage of his brain. When he collapsed, he lost all his "gifts" and was told that he was dying.

Unlike most Hollywood love stories where the man and the woman live happily ever after, the main character does die, and the friends he has left behind celebrate his life.

It's a beautiful movie. The simple premise of a good and simple man touching the lives of those around him, so much so that he continues to live even after he dies.

My favorite scene in the movie is the one where Kyra's character, Lace, gives John's character, George, a haircut and a shave in her kitchen sink. I remember that I cried the first time I saw it. The intimacy, tenderness and love captured in the scene was just beautiful. And the music they used to enhance the shot was perfect.

Learning from the past

One of the things I learned from my last relationship:

Both parties need to be equally strong for the relationship. One person cannot be strong all of the time. When one is weak, the other should be strong enough to carry the load until things get back to normal.

There'll be more entries like this posted every once in a while. I'll probably need to keep a notepad and pen in my bag in case the realizations come when I'm in the middle of an errand or a chore.

Survey

Something I found on Friendster

1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
Not a good idea.

2.WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A green Old Navy shirt

3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
I have kissed someone on my list.

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP FRIENDS?
Nope

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Majority of them

6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
One of each. Four tops.

7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yup.

8. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
I like my name

9. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
Nope

10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Went shopping with a friend

11. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
8am. The kids woke me up

12. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
Sleeping

13. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
Never

14. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO?
Get married and have kids.

15. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Hmmm... about a month ago

16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
I don't really want to change anything about myself. But if I really had to, I'd probably want to be a bit taller

17. IF YOU HAD $250,000...HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Get my own place and a car

18. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
Am between jobs

19. DESCRIBE WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue

20. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Nilagang baka

21. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
Hmmm... April... December

22. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
October

23. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
I don't remember

24. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
No one

25. MOST VISITED WEBPAGES?
Yahoo, CNN and E! Online

26. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
My cousin-in-law

27. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD
My ex

28. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I believe I would

29. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINKS?
Water, Vodka-based cocktails

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
I love food in general and lengua, steak, and lambchops in particular

31. FAVORITE DESSERT?
None in particular

32. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Not yet

33. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Nothing

Fresh Strawberries

This is a brand new blog. I looked through my old one and decided that i wanted to forget a lot of what I'd written there.

This is not to say that I regret anything that happened in the past. I just want a fresh start. I want to chronicle new memories. All my old friends will still be players, of course, but I'm looking forward to adding new people in my life.

So, welcome to my new space on the web. Hope you enjoy your stay.